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welcome

if i could choose what i want to be
i would want to be a grey dinosaur :D

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone


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For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, i love you still.
It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.
{/
Monday, December 21, 2009( 6:09 PM)

vous fera m'aime toujours demain?

school is starting soon and i'm not anticipating anything
if time could stop, i wish it'll stop now
there are just so many things to see, to know, to experience before school comes in to take over my life
maybe i'm just not ready to be a good student
to find myself achieving anything i expect
probably, i've always been leading an idealistic life
thinking of the impossible to achieve
i'm still clueless to as to what i want to be when i'm older
or what occupation i want to devote my life into
there are too many choices, but too little at the same time
life's such an irony

{/
Sunday, December 13, 2009( 5:44 PM)

who would have known
it's so difficult to love you
how can i bear not to look back
at those darting eyes on my every move

who would have known
how to love you just that
i'm dying to see you safe
but had to say i want you dead

who would have known
i'm loving you for you
and i'm clearly needing you
though i'm pushing you away

who would have known
that i'm really loving you
after all the pain you brought
i'm still coming back for more

who would have known
if you'd love me too
we can't predict what to say
but i'm sure God will show us the way

{/
( 4:29 PM)

Okay, i officially feel like a loser
i want to be a loser for God, not for myself
because we may appear to be losers in front of people but our just rewards are in heaven above
but i can't even put my human nature down to do God's will
i mean it isn't that difficult to say "JESUS LOVES YOU" right?
Jesus died on the cross for all our sins, suffering the shame, and i just can't say those three words
tessa's right, we should pray for strength and stuff
she said that i'm blaming myself too much
i don't know, i'm confused
i can't even play bejewelled blintz properly!
but i guess God will open a way
when there seems to be no way :D

tell me i'm random but i love this song

{/baking at jamos' house
Friday, December 11, 2009( 8:18 PM)

celeste, charis, kaiting, matthew, yvonne and i went to jamos' house to bake
maybe it was more of 2/5 of the time baking, 3/5 of the time playing cards

the cookies baked were awesomely delicious!
it was like the cookie with hot jam in the middle and it was nice because we all put in an effort to make it as perfect as it can be
in a nutshell, it was fantastically nice :D

as for card games, we played cheat and i've learnt to never sit opposite jamos
firstly, he can see the guilty expression on my face and immediately go "YOU CHEAT!"
secondly, he's always cheating(even on the first card) and so the flow is always stuck at where he is
lastly.. he bakes and i can't bake (i'm out of things to accuse him of)

and for yvonne, she uses this tactic where when she is cheating and someone catches her,
she'll say "you open it!" like she's daring you
when she does it, it means she cheated and most people would be afraid to, thinking that she didn't cheat because she's so confident of it
it's, i think, called reverse psychology
smart girl

so i've learnt to be more serious and not to laugh and try not to act like i'm so guilty
the end :D

{/
Monday, December 7, 2009( 10:35 PM)

i can't really believe that i'm still in singapore
i really want to attend the year-end conference but i guess it's God's will, somehow

anyway, YES camp was fun, and i brought along a travel diary
however, it isn't really a diary, more like a magazine since everyone read it
but overall, camp was awesome, though i didn't really slept well
but it was cool
really awesome