For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, i love you still.
It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them;
For the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you,
He will not leave you nor forsake you"

things done:
-half my physics homework
-half my english worksheet
-have my heart prepared to receive my just-fail-by-a-few-marks-due-to-careless-mistakes amath paper
-surviving a screwed up life

things undone:
-half my physics homework
-ESPOIR (screw it)
-all the other homework (eg ss)
-revision on CHEMICAL CALCULATIONS and maybe everything of amath
-stop sharmala from having hallucinations of me doing something (it's just sick and wrong :p)
-change this blogskin
-die before O levels

things half done:
-learn/master hymn 762 (shuts!)

screw espoir
i give up

i don't care if you don't

yes it's over and yes it sucks..
okay, it isn't like the so-called "cold topic"
it was one of the topics lao shi "caught" for us..
third language????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but who would have thought that it would come out?
we were all praying, wishing that it was something to do with the environment, 师生恋 or 亲子关系..
i mean, that third language thing was so random!
basically, i was crapping all the way..
i think laoshi told us to do so, if we're out of things to say..
so i heed his advice(:

i keep repeating my points.. half the time was made up of "uhs", i doubt they count it as english?
my mind was not only filled with points to say, it was also filled with "shuts, i'm so dead"

before our turn(as in the people from my class' turn), we ask xinrui to help us..
we say that if it's easy, she'll take out her specs, if it's difficult, she'll touch her hair..
it turned out that she took out her specs and rubbed her face, put in back on, smiled at us, and continue her staring time at dedede..

so it was easy for her..
duh, nothing much was ever difficult for xinrui..

anyway, i didn't study for chem retest..
or studied a little but felt that none of it made much sense..
WHO CARES ABOUT PERCENTAGE PURITY??!!
okay, we are all supposed to, but for crying out loud, it still doesn't make sense..
so, i'm going to get a big fat zero for chem retest today
and another one for lit tomorrow..

great, just the thing i need

this is insane..
chinese oral is 16-10= 6 more days!!!!!!!!!! and i'm so not ready
my pronunciations are not clear, and it's getting on my nerves..
some phrases or words are just too difficult to read/remember..
i know my chinese sucks but i really have to practise for oral..
it's like 40 marks?!
and i get super freaked out especially reading chinese to 2 people i have not met before..
and part of my grades were depending on them..
maybe if i smile harder, they'll give me higher grades..
or just think i'm an idiot.. as usual :p

what if i lose my voice?
or said something weird/offensive?
or kicked one of the examiner's leg?
or push the table so hard they felt the impact on their own tables and fell back on there backs?
or i was too soft cause i freaked out?
or i said something in english my accident?
or.......

why am i scaring the wits out of myself?
i'll relax..
and panic 6 days later!!!!!!!!!!

i know you're avoiding me..
but i just wish you were near

ahh..
i forgot all about my geog test tomorrow..
and i am definitely not done with all my homework..
arrgh
i don't want to go back to school..

it's seriously horrible..
every morning, when i wake up, i have to remind myself to look forward instead of being trapped in the past..
it isn't so bad being trapped in the past, but if so, everything else would go on and..
i will be lagging behind..
not knowing that i'm standing way before the starting line..
i don't know if i tried to walk on or to stay where i am..
cause obviously i rather stay where i am than to walk on..
things that past are better because we all don't know what is going to appear before us..
and the more we try to make the future better, the worse it becomes..
well, it's that way for me
maybe it's time to let go of the past..
and embrace the.. present

arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
h1n1 is stupid..
if there isn't this stupid virus, the school won't want us to waste valuable time on whatever project to reduce the likelihood of transmission..
hello??!!
like what we suggest can actually help singapore to be "H1N1-FREE"
it still won't be..
and it spreads so darn it easily..
so what if prevention is better than cure..
just lock yourself in the room and nothing will happen..
WHATEVER SWINE FLU OR H1N1 WILL NOT TOUCH YOU..
and how is english related to h1n1 or vice versa?
this is stupid..
i can find just so many excuses to excuse myself from this stupid thing..
but then again, it's graded

i am the worst friend ever..
how can i be so stupid?