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welcome

if i could choose what i want to be
i would want to be a grey dinosaur :D

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone


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For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, i love you still.
It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.
{/how it feels like to wait
Tuesday, September 7, 2010( 8:59 PM)

waiting is one of the worst feelings to ever experience
if waiting for a text reply is long and miserable, how about awaiting death to creep up to you?
to slowly devour your every second because who knows if you may be the next in line up the obituary.
or to wait for your loved ones to reply that damn call
i know my mum knows what i mean, she'll spam my brother and me with calls and texts that says no more than "call me" almost every single day.
serious

sometimes, waiting seems to train our sense of endurance
waiting for the things you always wanted
but other times, waiting just sucks to the core

anticipating something to happen, but it didn't, or it screwed up in the end
like how i was thinking about how i was going to enjoy pizza for dinner tonight,
but when i got home, my mum bought chicken rice (with the disgusting skin still on!)
because my brother did not want to make the phone call
he used to claim that he was a vampire.
he's more like an anti-social freak that is unwilling to talk on the phone to any other individual other than his FEMALE friends
but that doesn't bother me.
he's predictable and i like him for that (:

xinrui is always saying how she would confess to HIM but she didn't, in the end
the scenario is always the same
she chickened out at the last second, after waiting, visualizing, rehearsing the moment in her head more than a thousand times

i wonder how it feels like to confess
how it feels like as the suspense is being built up
one bit by one bit, every molecule in your body vibrating to the same thought
tell.him.the.truth.

anyways, personally, i can't stand suspense.
but, ironically, i love reading stories bound together by mystery and trailer.
three-quarter of the time, i'd just flip to the back, browse a little of the ending
after being satisfied with what i know, i' then continue my journey through the maze, secretly feeling a strange surge of elation because i know what's in stall for me at the end
one-quarter of the time, if i'm THAT bored, i'd goggle a certain movie, know the story, then watch the movie, or the other way around

i NEED to know things instantly
i can't help it
sometimes i can wait
sometimes i can't
because my imagination can take me to different places, exploring the different and absurd possibilities

so, when will i know the truth?